> It is the only place on earth where......
>
> 1. Every street has a basketball court.
> 2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
> 3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
> 4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
> 5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
> 6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
>
7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
> 8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
> 9. Everything can be forged.
> 10. All kinds of animals are edible.
> 11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
> 12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
> 13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
> 14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
> 15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
> 16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
> 17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
> 18. People can pay to defy the law.
> 19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
> 20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
> 21. The honking of car
horns is a way of life.
> 22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
> 23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
> 24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
> 25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
> 26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
> 27. Where insurance does not work.
> 28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
> 29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
> 30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
> 31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.
> 32. Fast food is a diet meal.
> 33. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
> 34. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.
> 35. Rodents are normal house pets.
> 36. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.
> 37. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;
> 38. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
> 39. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
> 40. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
> 41. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
> 42. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a
thousand.
> 43. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)
> 44. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax)
> - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
> 45. And where everyone wants to leave the country!
>
>
> FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:
>
> 1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
> 2. Anita Bakery
> 3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
> 4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
> 5. A bakery named Bread Pitt
> 6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
> 7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing
> 8. A boutique called The Way We Wear
> 9. A
video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental
> 10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
> 11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's
> 12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts
> 13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll
> 14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
>

Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to
> unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish'
> (The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
> 15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu We hab sopdrink in can an in batol?
> [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
> 16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises -
> [translation: Beads and Pieces --or--
Bits and Pieces]
>

There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but
> they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......
>

17. In a restaurant in Baguio City , the 'summer capital' of the Philippines : ? Wanted: Boy Waitress?
> 18. On a highway in Pampanga: We Make Modern Antique Furniture?
> 19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : We Shoot You While You Wait?
> 20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila : Wanted:
> Waiter, Cashier, Washier.

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:
> 21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: ? We Sell Imported
> Robber Shoes? (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);
> 22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: ?House For Rent, Fully Furnaced?
> (it must
really be hot inside)!
> Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not
> altogether odd.
>

23. City in southern Philippines which said: Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
> centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation?.
>

24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops
> selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia
> - which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs,
> Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!
> 25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient.?The
> creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than
> just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new
> words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....
> House
Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two
> will do?
> 26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit
> in the Philippines because?

We are a country where a good sense
> of humor is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called
> the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of
> politicians and bad actors.
>
Ikaw, why do you live in the Philippines?