Long Distance Relationships sharethe same elements as an average relationship.  It involves two people who care for one another and have alove for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. “So what makes it so hard?” one might ask. With LDRs, try building a relationship using theonly real tool one has… Words.

The odds of successful LDRs  are higher today than in the old days.  High-tech gadgets play a big role in their survival. Imagine being in an LDR back in the old days where the means of Communication were limited to phone calls and letter writing.  Phone calls are great, they allow the couple to talk in real time, however, this method could prove to be a bit costly.  Letter writing is more economical but one could be waiting for the other’s response for days (depending on distance). With only these means to communicate, Long Distance Relationships do not have chance. In this day and age, the possibilities are endless.

I had the opportunity to be involved in a long distance relationship the last couple of years.   I am a techie, based in Los Angeles, who met a girl during my vacation to the Philippines in December 2005.  And when I went back home to Los Angeles, I kept in touch with her via text messaging.  Text messaging was great, it allowed me to send out witty messages and at the same time avoid the awkward pause (due to intimidation) had I opted to speak to her over the phone. We continued to exchange SMS in a regular basis.  A few months later we decided to take our relationship to another level, in September of 2006 we upgraded to Yahoo Instant Messaging.  YM was even better, not only were we able to chat instantly we were also able to exchange pictures and MP3 (backups) so we can share our interests with each other. In addition, the best feature of YM is that it’s free  :-).  Our relationship was on a roll, we started calling each other via cellphones and phone cards. That stage was very costly. Our phone bills were astronomical but that did not matter, we enjoyed our conversations.  I had an opportunity to see her again in December of 2006.  We were able to spend time together even if it was just for a brief moment.  The time I had with her was the highlight of my vacation.  And when I got back home to Los Angeles, I knew that I left my heart in Manila.  In April of 2007,I was upgraded from friend to boyfriend. YAHOO!!! as in hooray, I exclaimed.  As boyfriend and girlfriend we were not satisfied with just the exchange of text nor merely hearing the sound each other’s voice. We retooled Yahoo and made use of the webcam feature so we can see each other.  We did not stop there, we subscribed to VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol), we were able to talk without depending on a computer.  Who could ask for anything more?  We had every means to communicate, we got our Words across.

Because LDRs are very limited wehad to be creative, and the webcam was just the tool we needed.  We had meal dates together, (my dinner with her breakfast, due to the sixteen hour time difference).  And just last Christmas she helped me decorate my Christmas tree by pointing out sections of the tree that needed more ornaments.  I even showed off my sappy side when I serenaded her on webcam on many occasions, YES, Parokya ni Edgar, Harana was still uso and now with a webcam twist.

As good  as these high tech stuff were, they were not perfect.  One time, I ordered flowers online for Valentine’s Day, one of the comments on the arrangement was “Sino namatay?” AllI can could say was that it looked good online… The internet connection was sometimes so bad, I could not tell if she was saying “Choppy ka “ or “Chubby ka”. The intermittent signal caused the phrase  “Hello Garci” to resurface for a different context. But that was okay, it was still good.  We were happy.

So I thought we were.  I knew she made me happy and she loved making me happy, but little did I know she felt lonely and it was eating her inside.  My source of happiness brought her misery.  I thought in all relationships, Love was all you need. The Beattles even wrote a song about it.  I guess I was wrong. Long Distance Relationships lack the physical presence of spending time together and that makes it harder to hang on.  Our relationship never lacked Love.  And because I love her so, I am willing to let her go. For now, Goodbye Garci, I hope some day our paths meet again.  I will miss our conversations.

Sorry I don’t have a happy ending, It is what it is, I am merely sharing. So to answer my question if Long Distance Relationships work, the jury is still out (and I shrug my shoulder as I type that.)  I know they are challenging and difficult but not impossible.  One thing I know for sure, it’s not for everyone.  And if you ever find yourself in this situation, all I can say is: “Enjoy the ride”  I know I did, I hope she did too.